Archive for parenting advice

10 Ways to Combat Parenting Doubts.

Parenting doubts

It is often a thankless job, being a parent. Kids do not come with instruction books and often we are learning how to parent while parenting.

Are you someone who has ever asked yourself…

“Am I screwing up my child?”

“Is this the correct way?”

“Why can’t I get this right?”

Ignoring these parenting doubts isn’t always possible because they hit us at the oddest times. These doubts come from within and can be effective in getting us down.

At least once a week a doubt enters my mind concerning something with my kids. It comes out of the blue and hits me hard.

I am an experienced parent, on my third kid, and to combat the doubt, I have learned to remember to tell myself…

– We never have all the answers.

The more we think we know as parents the more life has to show us. We make the best decisions we can based on information we have at the time.

– We all make mistakes.

Screwing up is being human. We need to embrace the lessons we learn from our errors.

– Kids will remember our love.

The things we beat ourselves up about often don’t matter to our kids. As long as they know we love them, they will be ok.

– Not every parenting situation is the same.

We can’t always apply parenting techniques to all situations. Things may work in one case and not in another and we have to understand that.

– Most things will not matter years from now.

When we look back on our lives in the future, the stuff we fretted over we won’t even remember. The big decisions will seem small and the small stuff will be what mattered.

– Parenting is tough.

We are dealing with unpredictable, complicated people so we shouldn’t be surprised with struggles.

– It is not important for kids to have everything.

Common parenting doubts come from how our kids are being provided for. Stuff is just stuff and often they just want time with us.

– You are harder on yourself than your kids are.

Kids have their minds on being kids. Things that we worry about are not even on children’s radar.

– Conflict is part of human relationships.

We have doubt when we have arguments with our kids. We all see the world differently and this can spark disagreements. It can be a good learning moment when we address conflict.

– Tomorrow is a new day.

Do not dwell on doubts. The fact that you care enough to doubt is a sign you are doing a good job. Parenting is for life and there will be something else to doubt another day.

Parenting Doubts are not always logical.

Rather than allowing it to get you down, identify that you are experiencing doubt and use truth to combat it. We are emotional and complex, and weird, negative thoughts are part of life.

Be a loving parent, knowing you are not perfect, and be willing to learn from your mistakes. Everything else will take care of itself.

 

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About the Author:
Miranda dreams of Rving across the country with her family and her 2 crazy little dogs – unless she’s swamped being a working mother and helping other moms with practical wisdom she has learned from over 2 decades raising a family. A teen mom, single mom, stay at home mom, working mom, she’s been there done that.

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Lies, Lies, Lies! 3 Lies Told to New Moms!

Lies!

I came across a blog post on ParentingInMotion.com about 5 Lies told to new moms:

Lies Told to New Moms!

  • “You won’t have time to shower for days.”
  • “Sleep when the baby sleeps.”
  • “Just let the laundry and dishes pile up, they can wait”
  • “You will never eat a warm meal again.”
  • “If you learn to do it right, breastfeeding won’t hurt.”

While there are many crappy lies we tell new moms, 3 important ones that were missed in that list were:

  • Always follow instincts. A new mom will have a lot on her mind as she attends to the day to day care of her new baby. She will also be tired and sometimes aggravated. Not every idea that pops into her head will be right or make sense.
  • Friends and family will be a lot of help. While they mean well, most offers of assistance are hollow gestures. They sound great and polite but most parents are on their own.
  • All these products are needed. Everyone will recommend all the stuff the baby will NEED. Many of the items will offer convenience and help make things easier but rarely are they necessary.
Rather than giving advice to a new mom, how about actually helping her with something. Offering to help with a meal, run needed errands, or take some of the load off will provide more benefits and make more of an impact.

What other lies are needlessly told to new moms?
What help would you have rather received instead of crappy advice you were given?
Please let me know in the comments.

P.S. If this topic interests you, please check out the very popular and helpful book by Claudine Wolk called It Gets Easier!…And Other Lies We Tell New Mothers: A Fun, Practical Guide to Becoming a Mom.

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