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Archive for stress

How A Tv Show and Coffee Mug Found a Missing Person

Sleep, Coffee, crafting, frustration, motherhood, parenting, starbucks

 

Sometimes we come across something that expresses how we feel better than we can. The other day I found just that on a coffee mug that said, ” I Just Want To Drink Coffee Create Stuff And Sleep”.

As a working mother of a 2 year old toddler I would say that rest and Me-time are foreign concepts. Being that I have been a mother since I was 15, I should be used to it. I’m not. This doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be a mother or that I lament it. It is just hard to remember a time when I wasn’t “Mom”.

I sometimes don’t know my identity outside that role in my life. I value being a mom and wife immensely and wouldn’t trade it for anything. I am referring to being so wrapped up in the tasks of the day, that I “lose” myself in it. Not that I don’t find fulfillment there or joy, but that the parts of me that existed before being a “mom” feel lost.

I do carve out time to do my crafts and the activities that I love. (I found time to write this article.) What I am talking about is losing the pre-mom Miranda, the person that didn’t have to look over the needs of her family. The person that could create and just be.

I was watching the tv show, Wahlburgers, on A&E and part of the episode was about the mother Alma Wahlberg doing a discussion panel about being a celebrity mom. One of the questions she was asked was about how she kept her identity in the shadow of her famous sons. Her answer struck a nerve with me. She said “I fought for it!”. She stressed that she was always being introduced as so and so’s mom and wasn’t even called by her own name.

I relate to this completely. After I saw that episode and then the mug, it hit me, “I have to fight to keep Miranda alive”. I am not using fight in an aggressive, boxing sense. The fight I am pointing out is the fight within me to not become so busy with my roles of worker, mom, and wife that my very core gets shut out. The tv show and a coffee mug found a missing person, I didn’t realize was even lost.life, family, work, career, balance, identity, self, womans roles

This can apply to anyone. We do change over time as we grow and experience new things. This does not mean that we should lose our identity, performing whatever roles we have to at that point in our lives. We need to nurture the person we are and not let them get lost and buried.

This means taking time to reflect and doing things that we love, not just going along for the ride in other people’s plans. It requires making sure we get proper rest so we don’t go through the day like zombies. We can’t keep our identity if we are too tired and busy to realize its being lost.

For me I need to drink some coffee so I can create some stuff (other than this article) and then get some sleep. Tomorrow will be here before I know it.

“Work” Miranda will then need get up and do her thing, so she can get home, so “Mom” Miranda can do her thing, so “Wife” Miranda can do hers, all the while making sure “Inner” Miranda gets her little slice of time. Wish me luck as I fight the good fight!

worker, mom, wife, friend, identity, self,

 

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How I stay sane in an insane world.

chores,family,kids,stress,job,money,health

We have all been there, surrounded by chaos and confusion, just trying to make it through the day. From crying, needy kids to work, life pressures, it can be overwhelming. There just is not enough time in the day to handle everything. When we add to that the stuff we burden ourselves with internally, we can easily be part of the cause of stress in others. This cycle is not good and definitely no way to live. It can be a challenge to stay sane in an insane world.

I decided a long time ago to not take the stuff so seriously. We are all human and react to the world around us. When the stress bus comes my way, I let it go by to get the next willing rider. I can only do what I can do. I am not super woman, even though that often seems what is expected of me.stress bus, work stress, life stress

I think from a young age, we are not taught how to cope with stress. We are put in classrooms to sit still and be quiet. We are not given much of an outlet for the pains and frustrations that are part of being a person. No one ever tells us that getting angry and dealing with it are a normal part of life. Very often we channel it inward.  We go from youth to adulthood ill-equipped for the realities of living in the modern world.

Because we direct so much stuff inside, we create more craziness for ourselves and others. I try to recognize this before it gets out of hand around me. I work to find humor where I can. I say may piece where it is needed and address items before they go too far. If I can’t finish or handle something, I let others know. I am not afraid to ask for help. Many people know more than me and that is ok.

People will get my best effort but I never claim to be perfect. When I mess up, I’ll speak up because I do not want others to be blamed and I can learn from the mistakes.

I realize my flaws and do not spend any time living in the past. It is great to reminisce but I try to live in the now. We have all been hurt and carry around pains from the past. I cry when I need to cry. I remind myself that the stuff that has happened to me made me who I am today, and I like who I am.

I work to cherish the little things. I find little nuggets of time for the things I like. I’m open to new things when they come around, but am content with what I have. I have hopes for tomorrow but know that tomorrow will never come. It will always be NOW.

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About the Author:
Miranda dreams of Rving across the country with her family and her 2 crazy little dogs – unless she’s swamped being a working mother and helping other moms with practical wisdom she has learned from over 2 decades raising a family. A teen mom, single mom, stay at home mom, working mom, she’s been there done that.

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